Internal with OFCCP (TEST JOB - DO NOT APPLY)

Can you be a caricature of corporate management like Bill Lumbergh? Then you could be a division Vice President of the software company Initech, based here in Topeka. Do you drive a blue Porsche 911 SC with a vanity license plate (MY PRSHE). Did you graduate from MIT with a BS in Physics? Then this sounds like the perfect opportunity for you!
Required Skills & Experience

• Be a micromanager who is focused on busy work and paperwork, ie. TPS reports
• Your leadership can be described as 'the antithesis of the motivational management leadership ideal'
• Greet subordinates with an unenthusiastic 'What's happening?'
• When asking an employee to do an unpleasant task, starts the sentence with, 'I'm gonna need you to', or 'If you could go ahead and', as well as ending these requests with 'that'd be great/terrific' and 'mmmkay?'
• Slowly maneuvered up and down the aisles of the office, giving a sense of dread and tenseness among every single employee